I just found out (I posted on that board today). But- we have an 18 month old son and we were going to get married in 3 weeks. I am also 3 months pregnant. My son has his last name because I thought we would be married so that I would share that name too.

Now I am thinking that I do not want two children with two different last names. This baby is his, but I don't want it to have his last name. I am sure he would fight me on it, but I really want my 18 month old son to have the same name as me and his unborn sibling.

Is this wrong? If we do work it out and we end up getting married, then we can change both kids' names back to his last name. Why do I have to always be called Mrs. (his last name) at doctor's offices- I never cared before, but I think it will kill me now, knowing I was ALMOST Mrs. S.

Advice??? I am so close to doing it.

Hold fire, please...and don't make any rash decisions. You are in no state right now to be making decisions. (I have responded to your longer post on the other page.) You are going to be all over the place with all sorts of thoughts and feelings. I suggest you start writing things down, and it will help with processing your thoughts.

If I were you, I'd postpone the wedding today, indefinately...that is if cancelling it is far to final right now for you to deal with. I suggest you tell your family and friends everything that has been going on, and his family too. If you can;t actually speak the words, then get a good friend to sit with you, hold your hand, and they tell what has happened. Get support. Don't collude with his lies, covering it up, don't collude with his process at all.

If I were you, marrying this scumbag of a guy who has betrayed you and your child(ren) is the last thing you should do. You wouldn't have known had the OW not contacted you. She obviously doesn't want you to get married. I CANNOT BELIEVE he was going to go ahead with marrying you when he has been going with someone else. I'm sorry...I feel furious for you just even reading this.

Susie