|
I know this is premature but I want to start thinking about this. Right now--cause its scary.
1. i don't have money for a lawyer or counseling, when i get the money I'll start with counseling
2. i'm still in discovery, so I'm laying low.
about our assets:
we have 5 kids. ages 9-18. we are in a house with rent to own, over paying on rent to go toward a down payment. The terms are to be extended soon. when its ours, there will be some principal. Its a cheap $hithole when we have the papers in our name but it will be an asset. The current rent is more than I can afford with no help, because part of the rent goes to the down payment. We have 2 car loans. I can afford the carloan in my car by myself but currently he pays.
about money:
I am not on any accounts of his. several years back, he decided to take me off all accounts so that he could control all the householdmoney. I was making it difficult for him to track money and would cause overdrafts. His solution one day was to cut me off. It has been like this since at least 3 years. while we get along, its been ok. Since he wasn't going to budge, I demanded He has my name on there to pay after death. Also, he gives me money when I ask or need as long as its not because i overdrafted my own account. And, I put insurance on him with my job bennies because it has always bothered me I don't make enough $ to support our family. I was an at home mom for 14 years and have only been back in the workforce almost 3 years.
He is self employed and income is erratic. I have no access to this money. I don't know how much the bills are, what he pays and when usually. I can look at the bank statements and such but thats about it.
I make 29,000 a year working FT and am in school pt.
of the 29,000 I deposit into FSA, 401K, meal plan, taxes, an each paycheck 495 goes into a joint account which is then switched to his accounts. My portion that I keep is usually around 300.00-400.00 and I pay my own auto gas, entertainment (starbucks), personal upkeep, random grocery and kid $. Sometimes I pay a bill like water bill or something like that. I also pay my school costs usually.
So when it comes to kids, assets, and money, and if it comes to somebody moving out....what happens?
I am really concerned that I have no access to anything outside my salary and that is minus the part that goes to the joint account that he pays. I'm afraid that if we seperate I'll be the one that has to go and I would have to leave the kids with him. I don't want to do this.
I almost feel totally controlled. BUT, for the first time I'm willing to make the effort and get our marriage in working order REGARDLESS of the possibility it will not work out. I'm not afraid to face the consequences. (big hooray for me)
|
money, assets, and children
Jul 19 2010, 04:18 PM
