My-Story

My story involves emotional infidelity with a partner that I've been with for 2 years. I found out about the infidelity by accident when he sent me a text message which was intended for his other love interest. It came as a shock to me to receive a text message out of the blue wherein he told the other woman that he loved her. This opened up a lot of suspicion on my part and I began to dig deeper into previous incidences that I was suspicious about but did not have any concrete proof. I have since found out that he has also taken 3 'sex' vacations to Mexico & Jamaica to resorts such as Desire Resort & Spa in Mexico and Hedonism III in Jamaica since we've been together. I don't need to elaborate on what happens at these resorts -- anything goes. I feel very naive and silly for trusting and believing in him and his love for me. We talked about our future together, planned some exciting trips together and I just thought our relationship was strong and heading towards a deeper connection. I was obviously wrong about many things but it surprises me that a person can be so duplicitous and pull it off. I guess what they say is true: "Love is Blind." I'm thankful that I found out at this early stage however it's been a very hard journey to accept and deal with the fallout of his infidelity. It just shakes you to the core. I am 42 and not even willing to put myself out there anymore. I just give up with men and the whole idea of a happy marriage and a family. I think it might even be best if I just find a sperm donor and have a child on my own. I know this is a radical idea for many people but time is running out for me and if I keep investing myself with men and this is what happens, it's best not to involve children in the heartache of infidelity if I can avoid it by factoring out the man in the equation and just become a parent on my own. What has happened to the old fashioned ideals of love and loving only one person exclusively and monogamously? Is this an antiquated ideal that doesn't apply to modern day romance/partnerships or is it simply the case that we are now socially hardwired to bring these issues out in the open and they've now become front and centre stage? Healing from infidelity is akin to going through the stages of grief and loss. I think it's important to stress how dangerous and hurtful emotional infidelity is--it certainly is not innocuous. It's been 5 months since I found out and he still insists he did nothing wrong because they didn't have sex.

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