My-Story

"I love you 2 lanie - m." This is a text message I received 9 days before my birthday from a guy that had been in my life since the Summer of '06 and for all intents and purposes purported to be in love with me and we shared many special times together. The problem is that my name is not 'Lanie' and he accidentally sent this text message to me in error. While assisting as the team medic while on vacation in Trinidad last August he met Lanie. They had been communicating for several months and although he refutes any physical involvement with this woman, they were emotionally involved. She called on Christmas Day 2007 when I was with him and at the time I didn't think anything of it but once he picked up his cell, he immediately went downstairs to continue the conversation out of my presence. Having to find out about another woman in my guy's life via a 'rogue' text message was absolutely cruel. My world came crashing down on that day and he went on vacation to Jamaica to Hedonism III without me and I spent my birthday alone and in shock. To this day he insists that telling other women that he loves them is perfectly ok and harmless. He has never apologized nor has he validated my pain and it's been 5 months since this happened. He continues to talk to this other woman. We are no longer together. I have spoken with and met Lanie face-to-face as a form of closure and she tells me that when they met he told her that he was single and that he had intimated that they were headed for a deeper connection. It's a sickness these men have and a lack of self-control and more importantly, a lack of respect for women. He has tried so many variations of the truth with me that I actually feel sorry for him. He tries to rationalize his cheating behavior by saying they never had sex (yet!) ... I believe it was just a matter of time and since this incident I've also found out that he took a 'sex' vacation to Mexico with another woman back in Oct '07 while he told me he was fishing and investing his money in the stock market and even had his grandmother lie to me and tell me he was gone fishing. Perhaps it was divine intervention that this happened and I found out about his true character; nevertheless, it was a real eye opener about emotional cruelty in relationships. I've had zero experience in bad relationships but it's a life pursuit for many men and a game - it's almost sociopathic. The emotional turmoil caused by this man has affected me in such a way that it's almost frightening to note that these types of men think nothing of their behavior and will continue to abuse women in these ways when they tell their friends they are being honest & upfront with their girl -- it's a fallacy that they are incapable of living up to -- honesty is just not within the moral fabric of a lot of men who cheat. What is most catastrophic about all of this is that he doesn't have to care about the fallout; he's content to move on to the next victim. He has lied, cheated and been deceitful repeatedly all the while saying that he loves me and sends me countless text messages expressing his love. Sadly many men haven't a clue what true love is.

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