My-Story

We were 14 when we started dating. 19 When we moved in together. At 21 I was pregnant and didn't have much support from him. We had moved back to our hometown to take care of his dying father. We were living in a trailer home his dad owned and I didn't like it much, but it didn't matter because I was by his side. We both didn't take the pregnancy news very well. I guess we weren't ready, but within time we came to terms with it. It wasn't too long before he came into contact with his old buddies and wanted to hang out like a typical 21 year old. It was nothing but fighting because all he wanted to do was have fun while I was experiencing loneliness and morning sickness. I had a close aunt who lived on the same side of town we live in, so I soon found comfort at her house. Since the trailer home we lived in was pretty much in the middle of nowhere, I got fed up of waiting for him all night long for him to come home. I would get scared and sometimes have nightmares, so eventually I spent more and more time at my aunt’s house. I spending time there turned into spending nights there. He would only come by I guess when he was missing me. All along it was in face, I was just too blind to see it. After our daughter was born, we moved back to where we had started a life together. A few months later, we were hit with the news that our daughter had a terminal illness. During this time he and I became closer than ever, but I remember having a fight with him at one point. I noticed he was on the internet and when he saw me coming he quickly logged off. I became suspicious and checked his e-mail the following day. Sure enough, he had been exchanging words with another woman. I never read anything that would lead me to believe he was seeing her, but he did tell her about our sick daughter. I contacted her and she assured me that they were just friends. They had met at a gas station when we were living in our hometown, during my pregnancy. She said they met a couple of times at a bar just to talk. She even went as far as telling me that he reminded her of her little brother. She asked me to be patient with him because he was trying his best to take care of his family. I believed her words, and she and him never spoke after that. Two years passed and my woman’s yearly exam was due. My doctor called me to let me know that my pap was abnormal and she had tested for HPV, which came back positive. I was devastated. Edgar was the only person I have ever been intimate with, which meant that Edgar was to blame. I confronted him with the news and he came clean about the woman he had e-mailed. He slept with her 3 days after they met, not to mention they met on the highway. He claims that he only saw her for a month, but I came in contact with her and she told me that she didn't know anything about me until right before I e-mailed her the first time. Not only did he break my heart, but he also infected me with an STD. I love him very much and I can't deny that he has made a lot of positive changes since our first daughter was born. He is a great provider and a good father. Sadly to say, but our first daughter past away. We now have another beautiful daughter, but are also affected with the same terminal illness our first daughter was affected with. The trouble with all this is that I am having a very hard time leaving the past behind. It took me three years to reveal the truth, and I cannot help but to be upset. He thinks that because we don't talk about it, everything is okay, but it isn't. It's eating me up inside.

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