Dating

Anne Bercht, the director of the Beyond Affairs Network, is co-founder, along with her husband Brian, of www.passionatelife.ca, a website dedicated to creating a healthy, passionate marriage. The Berchts are lecturers and authors of “My Husband’s Affair Became the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me.”

I have read some of these stories and I have to say my heart goes out to you ladies. I have my own story to tell. At this, time I am looking for advice. My husband and I were physically separated (different addresses) for two years and we still kept our relationship going. I trusted him completely, until one day he calls and tells me he went to a party and "hooked" up with a girl (23) and "it" had occurred. The first five minutes, I was numbed. Then it hit like lighting. The anger, the hurt, the disillusionment. I believed in him! Well, it has been six months and I am still struggling with the distrust. I am very afraid he will do it again. In addition, the reason I separated from him in the first place was because he has a "drinking problem" and we both know it plays a role as to why he cheated. I am very hurt. He wants to work things out. However, I am the one who is not sure. Honestly, I don't know what to do. I know this: I will not tolerate again. I hear people say, "forgive" and I am finding it very hard. I close my eyes and I see him with her. I walk out on the street or at work, and I see a pretty girl and I ask in myself "was it you? or you? or you?” At the same time I do not want to know who she is. I just never realized it would hurt me this much. He is a good father to our four-year-old. As a partner, there are somethings he has to work on. However the one thing that everyone tells me to give him credit for is the fact that he told me the next day. I don't know, I am torn apart. Anyone out there, please help.

• Read All The Stories In Our "My Story" Archive