Dating

Anne Bercht, the director of the Beyond Affairs Network, is co-founder, along with her husband Brian, of www.passionatelife.ca, a website dedicated to creating a healthy, passionate marriage. The Berchts are lecturers and authors of “My Husband’s Affair Became the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me.”

I thought we were high school sweethearts. 25 years later I thought we were special. I was right, we were special. The degree of deception, the length of the lie, my stupidity, and my ignorance were and are monumental. It all started in 1972. He betrayed me at least twice within the first 5 years. It seems I have had the sickening feeling in my gut since the beginning. We were not married and he promised that it would never happen again. I was the one he wanted, it would never happen again. No sex. I was married in 1980. Over the last 5 years I have heard him say that he wasn't. I am a recovering alcoholic, we have 3 great children (in spite of us) and I am trying to create the foundations of a strong relationship for the future (what's left of it). His disclosures have been few, varied (different versions of the same incidents), begrudgingly given, incomplete. He has admitted telling me lies he wouldn't believe himself. Since the problems are mine, he has no intention of clearing up the deceptions. I understand this is a very superficial version. I'll supply the details if you think I'm worth your time. Unbelievably, just writing this helps.

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