Managing Finances

Johnathan Bakers's web pages can be encountered on countless online sites associated with money management. You can see his writings on managing credit card debt at http://www.debtania.com.

My husband pursued my friend (who just happens to be our neighbor) for over a year. She is a divorced mother who we befriended a couple of years ago and have many wonderful times together. We used to go out dancing, to dinner and have many family bbqs together (at her house and ours). Apparently on my birthday (of all days) over a year ago, we were all out at a dance club for the evening and that's when it started for them. I found out thru e-mails between the two of them that they had been semi-intimate. He swears it was only a couple of times and that nothing sexual happened. He vows to make our marriage work - I love him but feel so betrayed. I cannot look, talk with her (she lives right across the street from us) - she wants to talk with me to apologize but I just can't. My husband and I have been together 17 years and have three children. The youngest is 11. Is it possible to get thru this? He says it only got to the point of kissing and touching each other and that he has no feelings for her. He was honest and admitted that he wanted to be with her sexually but that it never reached that point. He says it was only spur of the moment instances and that, yes, he wanted to pursue a sexual relationship with her. He promises me that he is very much in love with me and our sexual relationship is great (in his words) but that he got selfish and egotistical and wanted more.

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