Prevention

Dr. Robert Huizenga, The Infidelity Coach, is the founder of www.break-free-from-the-affair.com and author of the book “How to Break Free from the Affair.” He is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Certified Social Worker.

I’m 26 and I’ve been married for almost a year but already feel unhappy and not as in love with my husband as I used to be. I understand that the first year of marriage is a difficult one since you are trying to “settle in” to that way of life. He’s got everything I want, but the physical attraction and love isn’t there, I believe (and those are some big factors!). I feel I’m staying in it for him only and the fact that I don’t want to be alone, too. What if he is the best I can find, what if he’s not? Extremely confused. The last couple of months, I’ve been going out a lot and not wanting to be home at all. I met someone through a co-worker whom I’m extremely attracted to on all levels. I’ve known him for about 3 months. One night I called him to hang out and we ended up sleeping together. It was great since I hadn’t ever had much of a sex life with my husband, even before marriage! Every time I see him, I don’t want to leave – he makes me feel alive! He’s genuinely a good person. Of course, we both feel guilty about it, but feel a lot for each other. He’s being respectful and not putting any pressure on me at all. But even if he wasn’t in the picture, I don’t know if I should stay with my husband, especially after what has happened. He doesn’t know and I don’t know if I should tell him. I keep waffling back and forth as to what to do, for about a month now. Augh, please help!

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