Prevention

Jennifer Bazner, MA, LLPC, works with individuals and families in crisis, including families racked by infidelity. She is on the staff of www.break-free-from-the-affair as well as the Fountain Hill Center for Counseling and Consultation.

Today is the 1-year mark for me finding out that my husband and my best friend were having an affair. I thought the pain would be less by now. We were separated, but never in my wildest dreams did I think it would be forever, or that he would stray. He had not been working and the financial stress was so much that is why I left. Thinking maybe something would change. It certainly did. My friend who always told me she didn't know how I could deal with him; decided she wanted to give it a try. It was a very painful time, but he broke it off and our marriage is better than ever. I feel I have forgiven, I just can't forget. And the pain is still so sharp. I do not know all the details - that is something that bothers me. I WANT TO KNOW. He says it means nothing to him anymore and he wants to leave it in the past. We have talked about our relationship and I know he is remorseful. She would not talk to me about it or see me. Here a year later, I still feel the need to sit with her, look her in the eye and ask - How? Why?

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