Separation/Divorce

Joseph Hanoa is the founder of www.marriageadvising.com/, a website that answers questions dealing with couples help.

Marriage Separation - A Practical Guide

Jenny Clair is the editor of Marriage-Divorce-Separation.com an article based web site exploring the human side of marriage breakdowns, divorce and separation situations.

Marriage separation is hard work but once you come to terms with what has happened in your life you should be able to build a new life for yourself and look forward to new and rewarding challenges that come along.

My spouse and I tried to reconnect after a series of tragic deaths a couple of years apart. I went to Iraq in late 2003. When I returned, I sensed something had happened. Weeks after my return one of our children had told me of a guy spending the night. I asked about this and was told it was an old friend and nothing had happened. The facts told me otherwise and she never has owned up to this. I have stayed with her since and there has never been any closure regarding this incident for me. We have recently started having rocky times again, mostly because of finances. Although I have stayed and tried with her and vice versa, I could never get away from the thoughts of her infidelity. I recently gave up waiting for her to open up about this episode. I still feel a need to have her acknowledge the event. I have told her that I would have forgiven her if she had apologized and confessed. I have expressed that whether or not we stay together, honesty would be a way for us to be able to move on and help us with our four children. I really meant that. I also told her that I don't need to hear about the affair anymore, it would be nice for some closure and a way for me to have some respect for her and feel some kind of respect back but should I choose to end this relationship I don't feel its necessary anymore. I just feel that it would be a good start whether we stay together or not. I have empowered her by just ignoring the topic over the past years and I hate myself for not sticking to my principles when I first found out about it. Sometimes I feel tortured by my lack of action. I am trying to regain some semblance of a spiritual life and I am really making an effort to become a better man so to have this still lingering in my mind is bad.

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