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The recurring images of your partner with someone else are tough, especially since they come back for quite awhile - but they can/do eventually go away. How well I remember the way I'd be lying in my husband's arms, then suddenly have this sinking feeling just sweep over me as I'd imagine him with other women in his arms.

I found that anything/everything could trigger those images. His very first affair was with a woman whose name was the same as our daughter's middle name - so there was no escaping that. And as silly as it sounds, I even found myself affected by the fact that our family dog reminded me of one of the women - because they both had red hair!

The images and memories don't just magically disappear, but they do eventually diminish and then gradually fade away - if you work at helping that happen. While we can't keep them from coming, we can refuse to "dwell" on them; we can immediately try to move away from those images.

Also, of course, the way we're being treated by our spouse during our "recovery" can make a big difference. If we're able to balance these painful images with new, more positive experiences, it helps enormously.

Finally, just a reminder that I'm not talking theoretically here. I've "been there" and struggled with the images as well, but they DID go away and I have no residual pain from them. So I thought it might be helpful to share my own early struggles.

Here's an excerpt from our book, Beyond Affairs:

"The memories continued to haunt me. I'd be doing just fine, and then something would happen to remind me of the past - and it would feel like it was happening all over again. The least little thing might trigger these memories. It could be a reference to a particular person or place or subject, or a color or a song - or a hundred other things. Invariably, it would bring back in full living color every detail of the painful feelings and events of the past.