Warning Signs of Relationship Breakdown
The Relationship Institute, www.relationship-institute.com, serves the online community and communities in southeastern Michigan, providing marriage, pre-marriage and couples counseling, relationship therapy, and couples counseling.
Based on these signs, researchers have been able to predict with a very high degree of accuracy (about 90%) which relationships are likely to end within a few years. This information is crucial in accepting when your relationship is in serious need of more attention or help.
Dr. J. Gottman and colleagues at the University of Washington have found that there are four specific signs of deterioration of an intimate relationship. In order of increasing danger, they are listed below:
Criticism - instead of merely complaining, the person attacks and blames their partner's personality and/or character, such as "you are a selfish uncaring person";
Contempt - feedback with the intent to insult and/or psychologically abuse the partner, such as "you are more than stupid: a total idiot ";
Defensiveness - not being willing to listen to anything your partner has to say to you, out of fear of them hurting or attacking you; and
Stonewalling - ignoring, avoiding and distancing from your partner.
Escalation of negativity during the couples' interaction - an increase in complaining and criticism;
Invalidation of each other - not making attempts to understand each other's points of view;
Negative interpretation of neutral or positive events - when one person does or says something which is clearly meant to be neutral or even positive, but their partner interprets their intentions as being hostile or negative; and
The Relationship Institute, whose website is www.relationship-institute.com, is located at 27172 Woodward Avenue, Suite 200,Royal Oak, Michigan 48067. It’s main phone number is (248) 546-0407.
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