Office Affairs
Peggy Vaughan, the founder of DearPeggy.com and the Beyond Affairs Network, is a noted leader in the field of infidelity recovery. Her books include “The Monogamy Myth,” “Recovering From Affairs,” and “Beyond Affairs,” among others.
1. Why are more women having office affairs than in the past?
More women are having affairs in all areas of life than in the past—and the office is no exception. We live in a society that is preoccupied with sex and this sexually—charged environment doesn't end at the office door. As long as we have the current fascination and titillation about affairs—as well as the intense commercialization of sex in the media—we can expect to continue to have sex in the office.
Today, there are more women in the work force than ever before, and professionals spend an average of 52.5 hours a week on the job. The new working situation means that women often spend more time with their co-workers than with their friends or family.
Of course, it's not just the shear amount of time that women spend at work; they also spend their work time in different ways. More and more women are traveling in conjunction with their jobs. This additional opportunity for close relationships to develop outside the normal work environment simply expands the opportunities to build close relationships with men at work.
Since women are more likely to associate feelings of closeness with sexual feelings, these friendships provide a fertile ground for eventually becoming sexual relationships and developing into office affairs.
2. What are the risks of office affairs?
While the risks associated with office romances (between two single people) may be diminished by being discreet and relating in a professional way at work, office affairs (where at least one of the partners is married) carry far more risks. And these risks are much greater for women than for men.
The double standard for judging sexual behavior that exists in society as a whole exists in the office as well. Both men and women are likely to be more harsh in their judgment of the woman than the man when it comes to an office affair. Even if co-workers bring no moral judgment to her actions, they're likely to make a professional judgment that she's not really serious about her career.
There's also the likelihood that others in the office will have concerns about being personally affected. These concerns cover a wide range: having to "cover" for an affair, the amount of time an affair might take from a focus on business, special treatment or privileges that might accompany an affair, unfair distribution of labor by virtue of time spent on an affair, or just being distracted by an affair.
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