Sign 12: Saying “It’s Your Imagination”
These signs are from The 28 Tell-Tale Signs of a Cheating Spouse written by Anthony DeLorenzo, a nationally known private investigator, and his wife Dawn Ricci who is also a leading expert in the field. Tony has appeared on Oprah and many national shows.
CASE STUDY - "BEATRICE"
"Throughout the 25 years of our marriage, my husband and I socialized regularly with my best friend and her husband. We have been through everything together. Raising our children, family crises, even vacations.
Last year my friend's husband died and it was traumatic for all of us. My husband and I spent as much time with my friend as possible, and for a while she even stayed with us. She was more like a sister than a friend. My husband felt the same way, but I felt that they were getting a little closer than I was comfortable with. One day, another friend said she saw my husband with my friend at the park holding hands. That evening, I confronted my husband about the “park" and how I was very uncomfortable with his relationship with my friend. He said I was being ridiculous and that "my imagination was working overtime."
A few weeks later, I received an anonymous telephone call telling me that husband has been having a three-year affair with my friend. I thought that this was a very cruel joke and couldn't believe anyone would hurt me like this. But it's been five, months since the passing of our friend, and the grieving widow was looking pretty good to me. She lost weight, colored her hair and got a new haircut.
My husband changed, too. All of a sudden he was always ready to go out, with me or not. One night when we were driving somewhere I opened the glove compartment to get a tissue and found a condom instead. That was it! I blew up, and he finally confessed that he was sleeping with my friend for the past three years, and that he was in love with her. Now that she was a widow, he wanted to divorce me and marry her. Well, friends, if it looks like a rat, smells like a rat, then it is a rat."
WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW
Saying "It's your imagination" is a direct reaction and accusation from your spouse when you begin to question the fidelity in your relationship.
Telling you that this "so called affair" is in your own imagination usually takes place once your spouse has become comfortable and lazy with the regular excuses. Laziness of hiding the affair usually happens after six months or more from the beginning of it. This is when the lovers make mistakes and you begin to take real close notice. The spouse makes mistakes when he or she begins to show numerous signs.
When you began to take notice of your spouse's behavior, it was only natural for you to confront your spouse with your suspicions. You have made your spouse cleverer to cover-up the affair. An affair cannot be hidden forever!
We understand it’s difficult for you to not say anything to your spouse, but you have to remain in control over your emotions until you get the facts.
The cheating spouse will always try to keep you off-guard, and wants to play with your emotions. You have been made to believe this affair is all your fault and in your imagination.
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