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This article first appeared on http://www.beyondaffairs.com/

WARNING AFFAIR SURVIVORS!!! Recovering from infidelity is one of the most difficult things you will ever go through, but do not let yourself become another Gloria!

We've all met people like her. I remember working in retail sales in a major department store in a section of ladies wear, where the elderly women liked to shop. I want you to know there seemed to be something wrong with these women before they even got to my cash desk. They were in a bad mood. I felt like asking them, "Who peed in your corn flakes this morning?" Some of them seemed as if they had been frowning for so long that their frown was permanently wrinkled into their face! I didn't understand these ladies problems, but I made up my mind then and there, that I would never be one of them (like Gloria), filled with bitterness, resentment and unforgiveness.

After discovering my husband, whom I love beyond measure, had had an affair, I remembered those grouchy old ladies, and I thought to myself - I get it now. By the time you're 65 or older, it doesn't matter who you are, you will have been through a number of major heartaches, disappointments and sorrows, and if you have not processed them properly, you will be hardened and cold, someone that no one wants to be around. Therefore those of us who are recovering from infidelity must process our tremendous pain in a healthy manner. It is one thing for our present to have been destroyed, but are we going to allow our unfaithful spouse to steal our future as well? If we allow ourselves to become negative and bitter people like Gloria, that's exactly what we are doing.

When we are recovering from infidelity we must apply ourselves to the work of recovery by educating ourselves through books, counseling, seminars and support groups such as the Beyond Affairs Network. We cannot just sweep this under the rug and pretend it doesn't exist. We cannot just take a pill to make the pain go away. We must grieve, we must be angry, and then we must forgive, gain understanding, accept that it has happened and discover the new life, the even better life awaiting us beyond the affair.