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CASE STUDY - "PAULA"

"Over the past six months, I have noticed my husband becoming distant to me and the children. Every Thursday night I used to arrange for a baby-sitter, and would go out for dinner so that we could have some private adult time.

I always looked forward to our "date night," it made me feel like I used to when we were still dating in college. During this same six months, my husband also been putting in a lot more hours at work and claimed to be too tired to go out on our usual date night.

I didn't think about it too much, as I figured that soon enough would resume back to our normal routine. Meanwhile, our sex life also seemed to take a turn for the worse. On occasions, I noticed that my husband came home from work wearing new shirt. When I questioned him about it, he said that his boss said that he could charge things on the company credit card, since he's been putting in so much more time and not getting paid extra for it. He claimed, that during his lunch break he would go to the mall and make these purchases.

None of this made any sense to me. Since when did a boss pay for clothes instead of just giving a person a bonus for the extra work? One day, while sorting the dry cleaning, I found receipts in his suit pocket for a motel and for a florist. I was sick and tired of being taken for a fool, so that night I confronted him. At first he said that nothing was going on. He just kept telling me one lie after the other. He became pretty good at lying by now, but I was on to him so it didn't work anymore.

It turned out that he was indeed having an affair, and spending all the time working on this woman. She in turn liked to spoil him with gifts, including new clothes that he had supposedly bought at the mall."

WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW

Look for unexplained purchases on your spouse's charge card. Study itemized bills or a receipt for an item which you haven't received. Your spouse will never think you took notice of these charges.