Have You Abandoned Yourself?
Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is the best-selling author and co-author of eight books, including "Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You? and "Healing Your Aloneness." She is the co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding healing process.
Becoming Strong Enough to Love
Kathy walked into my 5-Day Intensive workshop looking like a lost little girl. 42 years old, her large green eyes had the frightened look of a deer in the headlights.
Kathy had decided to attend the Intensive to work on her inability to sustain a relationship. A physically attractive woman, she had no trouble attracting men. Yet her relationships rarely lasted more than a few months.
As I worked with Kathy, it quickly became apparent that she expected anyone she was with to validate her and attend to her needs, yet when they did, she would withdraw and resist. She would easily become irritated and blaming when I didn't give her the attention and approval that she wanted from me and from whomever she was with. Yet even when I did give her kindness and attention, she resisted opening to it.
I asked Kathy to imagine the little girl in her who was so needy of attention. As she closed her eyes and imagined her inner child, she started to cry.
"I see her sitting all alone on the stairs in our house. Everyone is having a good time but I'm waiting for someone to pay attention to me and see how hurt I am from the abuse from my father. I want my mother to care about me and protect me, but all she ever does is try to coax me into joining the family. So I just stay on the stairs."
"It sounds like your little girl is on the stairs wanting someone to come along and save her."
"Yes, someone needs to save her."
"So why to you think that she resists anyone who does try to save her? What does she want? Please ask her what she wants and who she wants to save her."
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