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Question: How can I respect myself if I stay in my marriage after my spouse had an affair? Isn’t this a sign of weakness on my part?

Answer: I look at this completely differently. The ability to forgive someone makes you a better and stronger human being. It takes greater strength of character to rebuild a marriage after an affair, than to just give up and quit. If you really love your spouse, and your spouse expresses genuine remorse and is willing to do their part in rebuilding the marriage, there are greater rewards in staying than there are in giving up. I wonder how can those who just throw in the towel like a big baby, giving up what they really want in life because there is a major obstacle in the road, have any self-respect?

In my situation, the other woman was bound and determined to marry my husband. I don’t blame her for the affair. I blame my husband, but in my case she was very seductive. She wanted my life. She was banking on the fact that as soon as my husband told me of the affair, I would be so mad that I would just throw him out and make it easy for her to take over my life.

How could I respect myself if after 18 years of marriage, I allow some other woman to waltz into my life and walk off with my husband, breaking up my family and taking my children’s father away from them without so much as putting up a fight! If I view myself as a woman who is worthy of deep love from a man, how can I not even be willing to give some time to my decision of whether or not I want to stay?

If I’m a strong woman who respects myself and is capable of thinking for myself and making my own decisions, why should I allow those in society who’ve never walked in my shoes to make the decision for me based on their own ignorance of the topic?