When You Have Had Enough —
Or More Than Enough
Dawn M. Ricci, a 20 year veteran and President of All State Investigations, Inc., is also co-author of the book “28 Tell-Tale Signs of a Cheating Spouse.”
Though there are no accurate statistics, infidelity is the leading cause of divorce among Americans as well as the leading cause for break-ups among dating couples.
And there are no reliable statistics, after 20 years of being a matrimonial private investigator, I can give you a very accurate idea about what happens to the vast majority of couples — married and single — whose relationship is affected by infidelity: a majority of these relationships will end due to the actions of the cheating partner.
The fact is, infidelity is a relationship destroyer. Marriages are based on trust, honesty and love, and if these are torn asunder, the relationship has an extremely high probability of failing.
My typical client will open the conversation by saying something along the lines of “I can’t even believe that I am calling you.” My answer is, “I am here to help and let me ask you the questions to make it easier on you.” At that point, I have made the client feel that they have found someone they can trust and open up to.
Here’s a typical story:
Alice married her high school sweetheart, Jim. By the time they reached the age of 23, Alice and Jim had three kids. Jim started out as a sales clerk at his father’s local hardware store in their hometown; when he was 30, he bought out his father and proceeded to build the hardware store to one of the biggest hardware chains around. Alice and Jim seemed to be an all-American family.
But, of course, what you see is not always what it appears to be. Alice called me to say she had had enough. She did not want to face the facts that Jim was having a long and drawn out affair with Selva, his administrative assistant. Alice just couldn’t be made to feel like a fool a minute longer.
Now Jim was taking long business trips without Alice; the two days away have turned into seven. Selva is with Jim all day, and all night.
As an investigator, I did not need to hear anymore. Selva and Jim are “the” couple now. Alice knows this in her heart and gut. However, she needs to accept it in her head. She needed me to provide information to her in black and white, in a straightforward, unambiguous way.
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