What I REALLY Want To Say
To That @#$&!!
Dr. Robert Huizenga, The Infidelity Coach, is the founder of www.break-free-from-the-affair.com and author of the book “How to Break Free from the Affair.” He is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Certified Social Worker.
In my coaching I often ask someone, "What do you REALLY want to say to him/her?" Often the tenor of the words runs in one of two paths: "I want to rip you to shreds for what you did!" or said sweetly, "I love you and let's work on the relationship." And, of course, it's often a combination of the two - bouncing back and forth, first from one direction and then another.
Below is an example from Stephanie who struggles with "My Marriage Made Me Do It" kind of affair. She tries to persuade him to not give up on the marriage. She attempts to pull conversation and intimacy from him. She apologizes and defends her past actions.
Here's what Stephanie says she wants to say to him:
First of all, I want you to listen because you're not listening to me, to your family or to God. It feels like you've turned your back on all of us. It feels as though you're being incredibly selfish and that you have no idea of how you will fracture the lives of your children, of me, and of your family.
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