Attention Divided by Divorce
Gary Direnfeld is a social worker. Courts in Ontario, Canada, consider him an expert on child development, parent-child relations, marital and family therapy, custody and access recommendations, and social work.
Your son or daughter isn't doing to well at school. You get a call from the teacher complaining of behaviour. If it's a boy, the complaint is about fidgetiness, lack of concentration, impulsive behaviour, poor judgment and some talking back. If it's a girl, she is described as distracted. Her mind seems to wander. Work isn't completed and she seems withdrawn. In both cases grades are slipping.
The teacher advises that the child exhibits the classic symptoms of Attention Deficit Disorder with Hyperactivity if a boy and Attention Deficit Disorder, Inattentive Type if a girl.
Psychoeducational testing may be suggested as might a prescription for Ritalin or Concerta.
If the parent obtains the psycho-educational assessment, little will be asked about family life and if asked, usually only one parent is interviewed. Hence information pertaining to family life may be minimized, or alternately any issue raised will be ascribed to the behaviour of the other parent. The testing will continue and a diagnosis of ADD confirmed.
With or without treatment, the child will appear resistant to change. In fact, symptoms may worsen. Prescriptions may be adjusted or changed. Behavioural interventions will be directed towards the child to gain compliance. The child may be withdrawn from the regular classroom. At best problems continue and at worst they intensify.
Some children subject to high-conflict parental divorce feel trapped between their parents or alternately feel like they must take sides. Either way, the parental conflict has spilled into their lives and as the child shoulders a burden to great to carry, it affects their ability to manage the demands of school.
In much the same was an adult with too much on their mind has trouble concentrating, so too of children. However, with children, there is often the myth that they are unaffected by the parental dispute or even if affected, can carry on at school. Hence the impact of the parental separation and conflict on the child goes undetected, unquestioned or unchallenged. It is glossed over as a contributory issue to the problems of the child's academic performance.
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