How to Communicate in a Healthy, Constructive Manner

Relationship Institute

The Relationship Institute, www.relationship-institute.com, serves the online community and communities in southeastern Michigan, providing marriage, pre-marriage and couples counseling, relationship therapy, and couples counseling.

A structured communication format, sometimes referred to as Active Listening or Mirroring, can be very helpful for couples to communicate in a more healthy and constructive way. The basic elements of this communication format are shown below.

If you find that you are unable or unwilling to practice this format with your partner, you may need help from a professional who can help you understand what is causing the problems in your communication. Couples Therapy is very helpful in this case.

There are typically four major blocks to healthy communication which couples experience in their interactions:

1. Arguing or Withdrawing

2. Blaming and Accusing

3. Not Listening

4. Changing the Subject

By using these blocks to good communication, a couple virtually insures that they will not be able to resolve conflicts. Over time, these styles of communication will create resentment, distance and an unhappy relationship.

Fortunately, there are skills which can be learned by most couples, to substitute for each of these communication blocks. In this format, only one person speaks at a time, and the other person's job is purely to listen. Only when the first person is completely done talking does the other one begin expressing what they have to say.

Instead of arguing or withdrawing, couples can learn to:

1. SET THE STAGE FOR HEALTHY COMMUNICATION


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