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CASE STUDY - "FRANK"

"My wife and I have three beautiful little girls who are a handful. We were a typical happy "normal" family. Because my wife and I have conflicting schedules, it is almost impossible to spend any quality time alone with each other.

I am a regular guy who works from nine to five for a computer company, and my wife is a nurse who works the night shift. When I'm just getting home from work, she's rushing around trying to get ready and leave for work. In the past few months, she's been leaving for work earlier to get in some extra hours. I, of course, agreed to this, since having three children has placed a financial burden on us.

I still have not seen the extra money from all the overtime. In fact, she tells me that they are paying her a little at a time. I'm starting to believe that she is lying.

On her days off she recently started leaving the girls with her mother. When I ask her where she goes during those days, she tells me that she just needs to get out a bit, so she goes to the mall or runs errands. Even her mother is suspicious that she is seeing someone else.

I started keeping tabs on her and documenting which days she was at work early and which were her days off. Finally I found her with another man. He is a doc­tor who works at the same hospital. Since he, too, is married, they coordinated their schedules so that they could have the same days off and spend them together.”

WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW.

Leaving work early for work happens when your spouse does not have the type of job that has planned meetings or overtime. Your spouse will only have this time to spend with the lover in the office.

For example, if your spouse and the lover meet early at work, they will have quiet time to spend together before the other employees arrive.

They could also make time to meet for breakfast or a pre-planned destination such as a park, restau­rant, motel, or the lover's house.