Cheating Spouse Sign 26: Saying “I Need Space”
These signs are from The 28 Tell-Tale Signs of a Cheating Spouse written by Anthony DeLorenzo, a nationally known private investigator, and his wife Dawn Ricci who is also a leading expert in the field. Tony has appeared on Oprah and other national shows.
CASE STUDY - "MARLA"
"I was in shock when my husband came home from work and said that we had to talk. In all the years of our marriage, I have never heard that tone of voice. It frightened me, and all kinds of strange thoughts went through my head: was he fired or did he have a terminal disease? We sat down, and he told me that after 22 years of marriage he suddenly had an urgent need to be alone for a while. He said that he needed space to figure things out. What things, I asked? He had no real answer for me.
I thought he was going through a mid-life crises. I asked him to talk to a professional about his problems. He said getting his own space would be the best medicine —and that he had already found a small apartment, and was moving out immediately. I asked him where this apartment was and his phone number, but he refused tell me — that would just defeat the purpose of moving out for a while. He said in case of an emergency I could beep him, otherwise don't bother him.
I was dumfounded! After 22 years of marriage, my life went down the drain in exactly ten minutes. For five long months, he lived his own life, showing up once a week for dinner and give me money for the bills. I tried so hard to understand his "ordeal," but I just couldn't. I finally got up the nerve to hire a private investigator.
I wanted answers. The P. I. followed him after work and found where he lived. The P. I. watched his house early every morning for a week — and saw the same woman leaving the house with him every morning, kissing each other before getting into their own cars.
The P. I. did a background check on this woman, and gave me all of the information. I was devastated, but I couldn't forgive myself for letting my husband to leave the marital home so easily. I am currently seeing a therapist. I still haven't gotten a decent explanation from him as to why this all happened. I am divorcing him on grounds of mental cruelty and abandonment, not to mention adultery!"
WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW
When the subject is caught between the spouse and the lover, they can no longer think rationally. If your spouse tells you he or she needs time to think things through, to be able to go out with their friends and be free for a while, to unwind and relax, then there is a real problem.
No one should abandon a marriage to be single again — it was supposed to be a lifetime commitment, remember? Your spouse's behavior has placed you in a difficult position. You are told you cannot ask any questions, which helps your spouse to avoid the marital problem and only to tell you more lies.
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