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When parents are going through a divorce or dissolution of marriage, they have certain concerns about their own security and do not sometimes appreciate the insecurities that this process creates for their children. If the biological parents going through a divorce will communicate facts and procedures to the children in an ongoing basis, it will help relieve the stress that the children experience.

If the parent’s attempts to talk to the children do not seem to resolve a lot of the insecurities and emotional anguish that the children may exhibit, then it would be important for the parents to engage a good mental health professional such as a clinical psychologist trained in dealing with children in such family problems. An experienced and well trained clinical psychologist can provide the necessary common sense tools that the parents and children can use to help them successfully move forward to a more secure and happy environment. As the old saying goes, as one door closes, another door opens, but it takes a certain amount of concentrated time and effort to go through the process.

The most important thing to avoid during a divorce is to take such actions or make such statements that serve no other purpose than to traumatize the children with negative and derogatory comments about the situation and the other parent. As hard as it is to do sometimes, a positive attitude needs to be pursued for the sake of the children as they will be maintaining a relationship with the other parent for many years after the divorce is completed.

Moving from a long established residence or from a particular neighborhood can be extremely traumatic for a child. However, if they can think of the move as an opportunity to meet new friends and experience new adventures, their stress level will be substantially reduced.

Since their birth, you have helped the children approach and accomplish many tasks that confronted them. A divorce of their parents is another task they will approach and participate in with your support. The key word is patience in how you handle them and each situation that arises from day to day.