Spousal Emotional Abuse During Divorce--What You Can Do
Ed Sherman is a family law attorney, divorce expert, and founder of Nolo Press. He started the self-help law movement in 1971 when he published the first edition of How to Do Your Own Divorce.
This is not about reaching agreement--these are strategies for self-defense. Mental and physical abuse must never be tolerated.
Restraining orders. The legal remedy for domestic harassment and violence is a restraining order--an order from the court, served personally on your spouse, forbidding certain conduct. Restraining orders are available as part of a divorce action.
If you, your children or anyone in your household has been physically abused or threatened with harm, you can have the abuser ordered to move out and stay away from the family residence. Child visitation can be ordered for specific times and places, away from your home and, if necessary, under supervision. It takes very clear proof of danger or harm to the child to forbid visitation altogether.
In extreme cases, most states permit emergency orders to be issued ex parte--without notice to or participation of your spouse. These orders are binding until a hearing can be held and more orders issued after both sides have had a chance to tell their side.
Here's the good news: more than 85 percent of all restraining orders are adhered to. Being served with orders from a court seems to have a good effect on most abusers, and, more to the point, they now know that you are serious about not being a victim. Think about it this way:
* Is your spouse the kind of person who will respect a court order?
* Will he or she care about the police coming out or being dragged into court and lectured by a judge?
* Does your spouse have a reputation, money or property to protect?
* Or will your spouse, in the heat of rage, ignore the threat or reality of official sanctions?
Article Archives
