This Will Work To Improve Your Marriage…Promise
Denise Silverstein, LCSW is a psychotherapist with over l5 years experience in individual, marital and family therapy. She does public speaking on relationships, child rearing and trauma, and has a private practice in Morganville, NJ.
“Mary, where is my new tie?” asked Richard. “And I would know that because…”, sniped Mary.
“You never listen to a word I say”, stated Jane. “It’s hard to listen when you nag and say the same thing over and over again”, replied John.
Sarcasm, impatience, retaliation and bitterness contribute to long-standing patterns of communication, which bring much pain to partners. If we treated our spouses more like we treated our friends or coworkers, we might be much better off. Being nice doesn’t mean that you have to be taken advantage of. What it means is that when you have interaction with your spouse, you keep in mind that this is the most important person in your life. This is the person with whom it is most important to have empathy and respect.
When I was little, I remember my dad saying, “think before you speak”. Today, I am taking those words to a whole different level. Before speaking to your partner, I want you to ask yourself one very important question:
“Is what I’m about to say going to lead us closer to the goals we have as a couple?” If not, don’t say it! It takes self-control to develop this skill, but you can do it!
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