Signs Of A Cheating Spouse

Dr. Huizenga

Dr. Robert Huizenga, The Infidelity Coach, is the founder of www.break-free-from-the-affair.com and author of the book “How to Break Free from the Affair.” He is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Certified Social Worker.

A person who "cheats" is different from someone who is involved in "infidelity."

Cheating is different from infidelity?

Yes, I believe so. Signs of a cheating spouse will be different from signs of infidelity.

In talking to thousands of people embroiled with a cheating spouse or infidelity over the past two plus decades, I've noticed a difference. In our society the word cheating carries different meaning than infidelity.

This is important for someone discerning the signs of a cheating spouse or the signs of infidelity. A person who "cheats" is different from someone who is involved in "infidelity."

Cheating is most closely described in my e-book as someone who "Doesn't Want to Say No." This is only one of 7 kinds of affairs. The other six kinds of affairs lean more in the direction of infidelity.

The true cheater is a rather rare bird, but is probably most glamorized and comes closest to our stereotype of cheating or infidelity.

Infidelity, in general, is marked by confusion, pain, doubt, ambivalence and a period of craziness in a person's life.

Cheating is an ongoing lifestyle.

Here are some signs of a cheating spouse: (substitute the word she for he, if you like.)

1. There most likely will be more than one other person. He sees affairs as conquests, usually sexual, and not as a place to find intimacy. Actually he lacks many of the tools and the mind set to have intimate relationships. He most likely will move from one conquest to another. His gratification on a basic level remains primary.

2. He will have little internal conflict about the affair. This differs markedly from the person who can't say no. Your spouse will view the affair or affairs as entitlement. He deserves them. He deserves to be adored. He deserves to have excitement and personal gratification in his life. He has earned it. There is nothing wrong with this. Actually others, perhaps you included, ought to understand this!


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