Making Marriage Work, Part 5
Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is the best-selling author and co-author of eight books, including "Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You? and "Healing Your Aloneness." She is the co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding healing process.
Becoming Strong Enough to Love
In Part 1 of this series, I described the fears of rejection and engulfment that underlie relationship problems.
In Part 2 of this 5-part series, I offered a simplified version of the Six Step healing process of Inner Bonding: 1. Willingness
2. Choose the intent to learn
3. Dialogue with the feelings
4. Dialogue with your Higher Power
5. Take loving action
6. Evaluate the action.
Part 2 described what it means to be in Step One - what it means to be willing to feel your feelings and take responsibility for them, rather than turn to protective, controlling behavior.
Part 3 described what it means to be in Step Two - choosing the intent to learn - using Joan's and Justin's marriage as an example.
Part 4 described how Joan used Steps 3 and 4 of Inner Bonding to deal with the issues in her marriage, discovering her beliefs and behavior that were causing her pain, and discovering the truth and loving action.
Now Joan moves into Step 5 - taking the loving action. She stops nagging Justin and starts taking care of her self. Instead of always waiting for Justin to come home, she makes plans to have dinner with a few of her girlfriends. When she comes back from dinner, she is happy to see Justin and he is happy to see her. He is especially happy to see that she is happy rather than angry with him.
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