Secrets of Happily Married Men
Anne Bercht, the director of the Beyond Affairs Network, is co-founder, along with her husband Brian, of www.passionatelife.ca, a website dedicated to creating a healthy, passionate marriage.
Eight Ways to Win Your Wife's Heart Forever
Make Marriage Your Job: Treat your marriage like it's your top priority. Use the problem-solving skills you learn at work on your marriage. If there's a problem in the marriage, react the way you would if you had a problem at work: Break it up into small doable tasks, hatch a strategy and stick to it.
Know Your Wife: Most men assume they know their spouse, but don't know who she really is. Observe her when she's with her friends or cheering on the sidelines at a soccer game. Take notes: What does she like? Dislike? And use that information to convey to her that you truly know her.
Be Home Now: Most men are not hardwired to spent a lot of time at home — harkening back to the hunter-gatherer days. They also struggle to let go of their bachelor ways. When they get married, they don't know the rules — one of which is: Your wife expects you to come home. Also many men are away from home because they're working very hard to support the family — something they consider a labor of love, but their wife considers a problem.
Expect Conflict, Deal With It: Fights are inevitable. Even happy couples fight. Trouble is, a man's natural inclination is to dig in and fight till the death. But a guy can lessen the blow if he learns to fight better. Don't get defensive. Soften your tone. Don't point fingers.
Learn to Listen: Simple, but powerful. All those women out there who complain their men don't listen may be right: Listening does not come naturally to men. The good news is: It's a skill that can be learned. Men can make small changes and in turn make their wives feel like they're being heard. First, turn off the TV. Second, make eye contact with her. And third, don't pace; stand still.
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