Have You Abandoned Yourself?
continued
Kathy goes inside and asks the questions. "She wants love. She wants someone to love her."
"Who?"
"......Oh my God! It's me! She wants me to love her! She feels angry and abandoned when I leave her on the stairs and keep trying to get someone else to love her. She's telling me she is going to push everyone away until I love her. I always thought it was everyone else who was abandoning her, but it is me who has been abandoning her, just like my parents abandoned me when I was little. I can't believe it - I'm treating her just like my parents treated her!"
I asked Kathy to imagine going to her inner child who was on the stairs and picking her up and holding her with love. For the first time since I'd met Kathy, her body relaxed as she gave her inner child the love that she had long for her whole life.
Then I worked with Brad, who had completely identified with Kathy.
"When you asked her to visualize her inner child, I saw my little boy all alone in a vast desert, so terrified. I can see that I have been the one abandoning him. I am always trying to get a woman to love him the way he wants to be loved. Even though I was married to wonderful women in both of my marriages, the marriages fell apart. Until now I thought that I had married the wrong women, but now I see that no matter how wonderful and loving a woman is, I have always been resistant to her love. She could never do it right enough for me. I ended up having lots of affairs, always looking for the woman who could get me out of that desert. I can see from Kathy's work that I need to be the one to take him out of that desert and love him. I need to give him the valuing and attention that I have always been trying to get from a woman."
I worked with both Brad and Kathy on developing a connection with the highest part of themselves, their Higher Selves. By connecting with this loving part of themselves, they began to develop their loving Adult self - the part of them capable of giving themselves the love that they had always sought from others. Both Brad and Kathy left the 5-day intensive without the life-long deep aloneness that was the result of having abandoned themselves.
This article appears on http://www.alumbo.com/.
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