Being Single in a Couples’ World
continued
What about this idea that ‘all the good ones are taken’? This implies that all the good partners end up in committed relationships while they’re young and are never again available. But the reality is that many people experience the most profound growth only after a painful relationship ends, whatever their age. By by dealing with the breakup consciously they become far wiser and healthy than they ever were before. ‘Good ones’ aren’t all taken, in fact new ‘good ones’ are being created every day! There are an abundant number of people who have personally and spiritually grown from their life lessons and right now are emotionally and physically available to create the best relationship of their life.
Lastly, regarding the ‘couples culture’ we live in, while it’s true that many activities are geared for couples and families, it’s also true that today there are more activities than ever before exclusively created for singles. However, as a single person you may have to exert more effort to find them than a couple does. But this underscores the larger issue that if you’re single, you need to adopt a positive, proactive, responsible attitude toward your single life. No one will come knocking on your door and ask you to dinner or to play volleyball or go canoeing. But with the proper attitude and effort, a huge range of people and activities are available for you. In this sense, being single affords you a fabulous opportunity to learn a most precious life lesson: without anyone else there to blame for your woes or to pick you up when you’re down, you can literally see how day-by-day you are creating your reality and lifestyle though every choice, every decision, and every fear and self-imposed limitation that you choose to not resolve. And if you prefer a different life experience, you have the power to choose to create that as well.
It’s also essential to develop a positive support system of single friends, who will help you deal with the inevitable ups and downs of life, and be there for you when you need physical, emotional or even financial help. Far too many singles isolate themselves and then have no emotional safety net to fall back on. Or they start dating someone, but have no help in assessing how healthy their new relationship really is, and may not see some obvious areas of incompatibility that a loving friend could easily point out.
Being in a relationship and being single are really just two different sides of the same life coin: both have challenges, both have freedoms, both have lessons, and both are wonderful opportunities to learn to become the best person you can be and fully express the gifts you came to this life with.
The Relationship Institute, whose website is http://www.relationship-institute.com/, is located at 27172 Woodward Avenue, Suite 200,Royal Oak, Michigan 48067. Its main phone number is (248) 546-0407.
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