12 Steps to Forgiveness
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12 Steps to Forgiveness
1. Write down the name of the person you need to forgive.
2. Acknowledge how hurt you are, and even the hatred you may feel towards this person for what they have done.
3. Think of times in your own life when your wrong actions have hurt or disappointed others. We also owed a debt we couldn’t pay. None of us is perfect. None of us is without fault. It is much easier to forgive others, when we bear in mind our own weaknesses and failings. We are all in need of forgiveness from time to time. Maybe we have never committed something as awful as betrayal, but as long as we have an uppity “I’m better than you” attitude, we will have trouble forgiving others. It is important to be honest with ourselves, and to view ourselves with sober judgment.
4. Decide you will bear the burden of the person’s wrongdoing. In other words your spouse’s affair is causing you tremendous pain, that’s the burden. Be brave and decide you will face that pain, rather than attempting to escape from it. As you do, the pain will begin to subside. I honestly feel no more pain associated with Brian’s affair.
Decide to be bigger and better than the situation at hand. Do what’s right, and the situation will in time be turned in your favor. Remember that doing good sometimes includes confrontation. Doing good is not tolerating injustice.
5. Take your piece of paper and write: I forgive ____________ (fill in the person’s name) for _______________ (write it all down) and it made me feel __________________. Write as much as you need to.
6. Make a decision to forgive. Say it out loud, “I make a decision right now to forgive _____________ (verbalize the situation).” Take as long as you need to, and be real. Ask for divine help if you need to.
7. Destroy the list: Rip or better yet, burn. (I threw mine in a river.)
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