I don’t want to think that I could go lower, because we all know that it can always get worse.

I am drowning kiddies. My only solace and hope being, that if I ended my pain that would only mean compounded pain for my child.

I still hope, but as the fall out radiation scatters (I know I will never know the whole truth) but truth does come out in the end, and it destroys me little by little. I need help and there is no help here. I need counseling. I am not coping.

I don’t care about anything, eating, drinking, sleeping, teaching, raising my child. He isn’t even a nice child for the most part. Maybe he has more pain than he is projecting and his contriteness and laziness and only wanting to play video games is his manner of coping. Poor kid, unwanted by bio-dad, then step-dad devastating his mother and by fall out him as well.

Why are people so cruel?