Posted By: sooboo on Jun. 9, 2008 at 9:01 AM

Surviving infidelity and coping with the infidelity of a cheating spouse. Learn the signs of infidelity as well as how to recognize emotional infidelity.

    For the love...just " tired " would be a blessed relief.
I am well beyond tired. Just tried to get in to see the MD again... no luck...so, on the way home I bought some dramamine...co worker suggested it. we shall see if it calms the rage within me...I am sickened by the anger I am feeling...anger at whom, sooboo? There seems to be that damned voice of "guilt" that I know is telling lies but I cannot get the bitch to shut up...I have not heard from SO and am so glad because he is so full of himself...it is for the best that he is gone...no more lies...no more drama from his brats...no more concerns that one day I might be resonsible for his debts...I would surmise I am experiencing , what?  I cannot put a name on it...no one likes rejection...that voice tells me I am fat,ugly,bitchy and a loser...( Hell yeah I am a loser....I just lost 180 lbs of lying flesh..). I can be lucid once moment, then the next I am agreeing with that damned voice in my head...." you should have sex more often" , " you should have sex more often" , " you should have had sex more often"
Damn...could someone slap that voice for me??? " you should have changed YOUR work schedule so yall could have had more sex" COULD YOU SHUT UP PLEASE?
I AM TRYING TO MAKE SOME PROGRESS !!!!!

I have come to the conclusion that it was not me who was loved nor appreciated, it was my vagina. The are gazillions of vaginas in this world...are we all just sevice animals to men?
There is a worthy person attached to that vagina,sir...I do not need a man to support me, I do not need for sex to be the deciding factor regarding  emotional attachment to me...I have a mind and a flamboyant personality...I wonder if he ever noticed my needs were not being met either...I need STABILITY !!! ( and about 10 hours of sleep)!!!
I also need honesty. Are we humans not capable of being honest with one another??? In 4 years, I never looked at another man...well, OK, I looked, but I didn't get all worked up and start flirting...I am really hating the deception involved.
I am truly hating the part of me that tolerated him after the first lie was discovered. Whatever happened to people talking to/with one another and being able to express unhappiness? I admit, I was desperate. Perhaps I still am desperate...to heal, to feel good about myself again,to laugh,to enjoy life.
I must get some sleep.
Hope you all are aware , I care.
YANA
Hugs of support and healing to yall!!!

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Categories: Blasting zone

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I gave lots and lots of sex. That didn't stop my man. Of course for the last two years MY sexual needs have not been met, but his sure were with both of us going at him. I have so much rage and anger. I am metaphorically heavy. Fucking homewrecking bitch she is! Fucking PIG fucker he is.

michellesrival

Posted By Public Guest on Jun. 9, 2008 at 10:22 AM


The SO's sexual needs were more than met since December when I first became suspicious and confronted him about the possibility that he had a GF. Yeppers, both of us were also giving it up..her much more than I,for sure...it is so difficult to become lusty when working 48-60 hours per week. How do we overcome this anger and rage? I have been very good to myself...other than the " not sleeping" deal...and perhaps the " unable to eat" deal...I have soaked in tubs of hot water and have breathed deeply and have decided that this is going to take a LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG time to get over.
Hell, will we ever be able to recover
from the betrayal? Will we always have trust issues?
I am ready to have the full battery of testing done to determine if he has shared something with me other than living quarters...of course, IF I can ever get in to see the doctor...
I am also having to replace all of my...ummm..toys..if he disrespected me enough to fuck around on me,the whore had probably been brought here...and I am sure he could not resist using my toys on her if for nothing but even further disrespecting me...damned spam sucking trailer trash.
I wish we weren't under "no burn" restrictions here...there are 2 boxes outside full of his shit...I could have one helluva weenie roast !!!
What are we to do with this rage and anger?? It is all consuming and very uncomfortable. I have begun listening to " angst rock " and have surely KILLED several pillows...works for a while, then it jumps right back. Heavy rock..i don't care what they are "singing" it's the guitar riffs and drums that get me ready to FIGHT!!! Cannot do that to oldies..
I just don't think I can transform these emotions into anything creative...
I am laughing internally to some extent,though...she thinks she has won
prize...hahahahahahahahaha...WHORE...what he has done to me,he will do to her...hahahahahahahaha...man whore...home wrecking whore...what a combo...hope they get fries and a shake with that!!! People do not understand that whatever you put into the universe comes back to you 10 fold....they can expect some bad shit !!!

Posted By Public Guest on Jun. 9, 2008 at 6:20 PM


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12/01/2008 4:35 PM