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- Surviving infidelity and coping with the infidelity of a cheating spouse. Learn the signs of infidelity as well as how to recognize emotional infidelity.
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- 2June 2008
Surviving infidelity and coping with the infidelity of a cheating spouse. Learn the signs of infidelity as well as how to recognize emotional infidelity.
My husband's behavior was all a part of the routine of the decadence of alcohol and drug abuse...not to mention spousal abuse. Now that he's clean, I am unaware of what might happen to this part of his addiction. He used to pick up random women in bars who were, likewise, under the influence. He might spend a night or several. I have no idea if he returned to any woman more than once....I'm under the impression that they were all different. He sought variety and indulgence.
He's been clean for three months, but we are still under a police restriction to remain seperated (He was violent). I can't get a mesure on how much he trashed our marriage... or if that was even a part of his infidelity. I know that his behavior had nothing to do with me....but will it end with sobriety?
I have always felt that infidelity was a deal-breaker. That kind of addiction - to random sexual encounters - is akin to prostitution in my eyes. Certainly, his addiction to alcohol and drugs was deeply suicidal. Is this one worth fighting?
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Cut him loose. Then take a look at why violence is a part of your life, it doesn't have to be. There are only things we are used to, or know to be true. I KNOW violence and addiction aren't things I WANT in my life. Remember you are the one that makes the choices that affect you. There is no reason to make bad ones. The feeling of loss is normal, you are grieving. You need to find what is important to you. I don't believe that LOVE is the answer. Love isn't violent, or drunk. It doesn't hurt you because you are in its way...
LOVE yourself. Find YOURSELF, Ask yourself, "Who am I, What do I want?, What do I like?" Then you will be able to know an external love. Until then, your LOVE, will be the worth someone places upon you, someone you allow to give you value. HAVE value in yourself, and you will BRING it into a healthy relationship. I am not saying you need to be perfect, no one is. Just don't be afraid to love yourself. And don't let someone use love as a weapon against you.
Posted By Public Guest on Jun. 28, 2008 at 10:54 AM
THe bottom line is how much you love him. I think most people will say cut him loose, but you can only do what is in your own heart to do. I am still trying/hoping with counciling mine will finally get the help he needs. Why else would there be councilors out there?
Michellesrival
Posted By Public Guest on Jun. 28, 2008 at 8:42 AM