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Surviving infidelity and coping with the infidelity of a cheating spouse. Learn the signs of infidelity as well as how to recognize emotional infidelity.
Me and my wife work out of the country finally after three and a half years of being apart and now able to work together. I had to go home for R&R by myself due to that I was fixing to lose my R&R and would thereafter start going home on R&R with my wife there after. I went on R&R and I was going through the desk at home looking only for some business type paper work for me to handle some business while I was at home. I ran across a email address that was clearly marked as a unsuitable email address for my family to have. At that time I did not have internet access and wasn’t able to investigate it until I got to a transient center on my way back to my work site out of the country. I plugged in the information I found and reactivated an account and was shocked as it had my wife’s information on it. Welcome Ms Shy, single and looking, wife's hobbies showed up on the welcome screen. I became enraged with what I found as I have been accused by her so many times of cheating on her. I have never cheated on her and considered her the love of my life. What a sucker! I asked her about it and then she didn’t know anything about it. Then it was her cousins that frequented the house some time back. I asked here question after question and it got to be so much I guess she was contradicting what she has said previously and denying things she admitted to earlier. There was a web cam involved in which she said she didn’t show anyone anything and the males showed her only of course. Said she mainly talked about me, her husband and to find out what men liked as I do not tell her. I do not think that is the case here. She said the whole reason for doing this was due to that I was cheating on her...NOT! She found a disc of a naked women that I had in which was just simple porn pics I got from a guy here in country. Those pictures were like a novelty at the camp I was at but I was wrong by having them. Anyway, that is why she said she did what she did to get even with me. I have never seen this woman other than through a computer screen and NO, I am not a porn addict or anything like that. I have not even looked at any type of porn there after she found it. Again she said I was cheating on her...I have been to the extreme to buy a phone and have a private internet dish system so she could watch me in my room after I got off work until I got up to go to work the following day. I was so trying to show her that I was a good faithful husband and proving it to her. At that time my night was her morning and her night was my regular working hours in which I could not communicate with her during work hours. She seemed to be having a grand ole time while I was working while she was at home with me supporting her where she did not have to work. When I get back home I am going through the computer hard drive and see what I can find and what was deleted. It is a very good thing I can do this. I told her I would make my mind what I would do after seeing for myself what she has been doing on the computer and how far she has taken things. I just found out today she was going to have her cousin break into the house and burn the computer tower after I told her I would defiantly give her a divorce if she interfered with me looking into it. Should I divorce? If she did that then what else is she capable of? I have never been so hurt over anyone. After this happened to me the first time with another love I said it would not happen again. I am truly a sucker. I will keep monitoring software on all my computers from here on out just so I can catch it when it starts. Who can you trust if you can not even trust the love of your life? What all has she done and what do I do? I am truly a sucker...
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My wife is cheating on the net but was that all
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man, i feel for you. you want to give to someone who appreciates it only to find out they are doing you wrong. i found my wife cheating on the web with a keylogger program. the things she done on the cam and ims that were typed were such a slap in the face. man, dont trust her as i found out later while trying to work it out with my wife that she was seeing someone she met online a few miles from my house. after all that i have done for her and she said it didnt go beyond the web but brother it did. she told me the guys she was talking with wasnt even in the same state. i dont know how she pulled it off but i didnt catch that on the computer but it dont matter because she was going to do it regardless, obviously. all i can say that if you find out she was doing the nasty on the cam she is giving it up to someone else. you cant trust a woman who is a exhibitionist and showing herself along with doing other deeds on the web. i know it is hard man but dont let her suck you into her lies because she will decieve you. i have been through this but the decision is yours to make. take care and i am sorry that this has to happen to us but watch your back man. there are some good women out there. i would start looking for another and hope to get a good one or just stay away from them for a while altogether. i dont know about the comment above but they are pro-cheater. Jimbo
Posted By Public Guest on Sep. 17, 2007 at 9:43 AM
I do agree with the fact that there are definately some good women out there. I say that with conviction because I know I am one of them. As far as there being a reason behind the cheating ...... I cant say that I agree. Yeah, maybe its some type of spiritual thing that is suppose to make you stronger. However, there is absolutely no reason, no excuse, no justification, nor rationalization to ANYONE - man or woman to cheat. This robs the other spouse (the one not cheating) of your history. He/She will forever wonder if it was all a lie. Basically, I will say to all the exact thing I tell my husband....there are some women out there that will do these things. There are some women out there that will find it ok to get into a relationship with married men. But I am not that chick. This lies true for men also. There are some men that think it is ok to cheat as long as they come home at night and provide!!! Just like there are some men that hang on to women who cheat (for the children or for the sake of sanity) - it doesn't mean you have to be that man!! I honestly believe that if a person wants to be unfaithful and cheat - it's ok - do you...but I dont have to go along for the ride!!!!
Good Luck
Posted By justmarried on Sep. 18, 2007 at 10:21 AM
tell it sister!! dont do it for the children or for the sake of sanity...pull up stakes and leave the excess baggage where it lies!
Posted By Public Guest on Sep. 20, 2007 at 7:06 AM
It is amazing how may people are ready to pull up and just leave someone they say they "love so much". Disposable love is it the true kind? What else has this woman done to you that you can prove? Is she truely sorry? Have her followed or set her up to find out if she is a cheat. I was the one that made the error in my marriage and I only made one mistake. It involved the internet because I was trying to see if I was ready for a change. I found instead that I wanted what I had but it was to late. I never met anyone but I still caused my husband to much grief and he could not handle it. I would never have hurt him again and I would have spent my life proving it to him but that is a dead issue now. Anyone that has ever experienced a divorce knows the pain we put ourself and our kids through. I say think long and hard about her and who she is and all of the things she has done to you that are bad and good. Get help and counseling and answers to your questions. You blew off the fact you had porn photos or a woman, I would like to know more about the photos and if they were taken by the friend. Is there more to this story? did she do this to you only after the photos or before? How is she to know what happened with the "friends Photos" and that they did belong to a friend. Why would a man want to share "his girls porn photos" with a camp and why would men help to degrade that woman more. Did the woman want the photos shared? Men are so insensitive. Is it ok for her to look at her friends photos of nude men because they are a novelty, or her friend whats to show her how big the guys dick is or something? I suggest if a man wants to look at porn he needs to do it with his wife and that way they may find new experiences they can both injoy. I don't like you or her in this situation , is there more to your story? Did you read her computer and see what she did if so you should have your answers.
Posted By Public Guest on Jun. 12, 2008 at 11:59 PM
Lady, you dont have a clue and you are just like any other woman. The old saying must be true "dont trust anything that bleeds for 7 days and dont die". Who and the hell wouldnt want to pull up stakes when they find thier spouse cheating? That isnt disposable love, it is self dignity and why would you want to be with someone you dont trust? I really dont know if she is sorry but she says she is. Do I know for a fact it was physical; no I dont...but, the fact is she has taken it that far. I went online for myself just to see what was out there and it was ridiculas to the amount of women that wanted to cheat in my area. I have already gotten things in place to catch her if this is still going on or if it has went beyond. I know divorce well and I will damn well get another if I feel that is what I need to do but I promise it wont happen again. At this point and from what I have seen, there are no good women anywhere. This experiance has left a bad taste in my mouth that I cant seem to get out. What about the damn porn photos? I didnt know that whore and my friend didnt either. It was pics of her going all over the place. If my spouse would have had the damn disc analyzed by a proffesional she might have gotten the information she needed to put herself at ease but no, she does not listen. You can with some software pull all kinds of information from a pic, time, date, camera, camera make, serial and name if they intered it into a digital camera as well as the computer info that wrote the disc. Find her rank or unit insignia to find her. So much shit could have been looked at to show something totally different but ignorance takes over. So, what the fuck about the picture lady? Just because you are trying to make yourself feel better doesnt make you an expert on it. Hell, I had to look through so much broken files on her computer it just made me mad that I had to go through it. From what I have seen she wasnt talking about me or showing me her nude self doing what ever. I really dont care what you think but women are bad in my mind and I mean all. I would be better off as a hermit somewhere. That is why I need professional help as I do not respect women anymore over this ordeal because if the love of your life did this to you, what would you think? Again, I am a fucking sucker and dont write back on my blog because you are a cheating bitch and dont deserve to critisize me or ask me questions so you got your freebie so fuck off.
Posted By Public Guest on Jul. 4, 2008 at 5:41 AM
you are the innocent. Could this have been prevented. Did she talk to you or do any thing to tell you about all of the insecuriteis that everyone keeps mentioning. Do we help those we love when they truely need it? Are we there for them? She watched you on the internet... So are you good with computers could you have made it look like you were there or could you have turned it off when you did not want her to see and on when it was safe for her to watch? Did you tell her how you feel when she asked or on your own? If she loves you and you did so much how could she do that. There is a reason for things like this there is always a reason. Find that and you will find the answer to all of your questions.
Posted By Public Guest on Sep. 17, 2007 at 3:02 AM